The TV is my shepherd, I shall want.
It makes me lie down on the sofa.
It leads me away from the Scriptures.
It destroys my soul.
It leads me in the path of sex and violence, for the sponsor's sake.
Yea, though I walk in the shadow of my Christian responsibilities.
There will be no interruption, For the TV is with me.
It's cable and remote, they control me.
It prepares a commercial before me In the presence of worldliness;
It anoints my head with Humanism, My coveting runneth over.
Surely laziness and ignorance shall Follow me all days of my life:
And I shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.